Communication and trust are two of the biggest factors that help a long distance relationship survive. They are part of other relationships but unlike those in the same city, state, house– long distance relationships cannot just see each other tomorrow, or when they get home, at school, etc.
July will mark four years that Kurt and I have been in a long distance relationship. It hasn’t always been easy, there’s been rough times, there have been great times. But in a lot of ways I feel we’ve learned more about ourselves and each other by being in this kind of relationship. We see each other roughly every 3 months, typically for a few days, over school vacations it can be up to two weeks!
Every couple is different, find what works for you and your partner. Talk about your schedules, be honest! If you’re not a big talker on the phone, try Instant Messaging, Skyping, texting, email, snail mail… there’s a lot of options out there for long distance relationships people in this day and age. But be honest with yourself and your partner. Try date nights! Hulu and netflix are great for watching a movie together long distance. We IM during movies, it’s great because it’s *almost* like sitting on the couch together. Some magazines and sites I’ve seen have suggested going out to movies at the same time, seeing the same movie so you can talk about it together afterwards. Now, that’s great, if you have the time and money to see a movie in theaters! We, are poor students. So that’s just not gonna happen. But we make our hulu dates work!
Skyping is great, lets you see your lovers face (and yes you naughty people you can do *other* activities on skype), and hear their voice. You don’t have to break the bank on a camera, and most newer laptops come with this option already built into the body.
Cellphones are great, but you have to be honest with each other about how much you’re able to and can handle to be in contact throughout the day. It is possible to have a partner being overly clingy thouusands of miles away. And it’s not fair to anyone to be dishonest about your time!
If you’re students, tell your partner when it’s finals week or a big test. It helps the other person understand that “hi, I love you” may just be as good as it gets for a few days. Again, COMMUNICATION is such a huge factor in long distance relationships and any relationships– I cannot stress this enough.
Now, the trust factor.
Just because you’re in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean you should become a social hermit waiting constantly for your signifigant other to call. Go out with your friends, be social! It’ll keep you from becoming resentful. And, they need to do the same! So don’t become overly jealous of their friends because they are able to see your signifigant other in person and you are not. As with any relationship, trusting each other is needed so there are no hurt feelings over time spent with friends. Be honest with each other! And be honest with yourself. If you have no self control and flirt with everyone in sight- a relationship may not be a great plan, long distance isn’t an excuse to be unfaithful. (If you decide to be a poly/open relationship, talk about your feelings on boundries etc.)
So as I mentioned in my previous long distance relationship post please feel free to ask questions, add your two cents… and I hope to write a bit more about this topic!